When would you understand that it won’t work? It does not have a chance, and even if something would happen, it may bring something that brings trouble, you’ll get more hurt or very temporary.
He is always moving you away, he even feels uncomfortable sleeping with you. He has kicked out multiple of times from his place. Maybe, it is right, he wants to be alone, privacy, you are not worth enough for give up on that. Even as a friend…Don’t read second meanings, don’t build castles in the air…it is your own fantasy. Things are working ok just the wait they are right?
So get a love, someone who loves you for who you are, who can appreciate you and treat you as treasure. He is a nice a guy, he may have many of the characteristics that you are looking for a guy, it is understandable if he was your first real relationship and love. But the reasons that brought you together are very different from who you are before. He admitted not ever loving when you where together 13 years ago, and so many things have happened during this time that he can continuously showed you that he has never considered you as a partner. Many people have reached that mark but you haven’t, not matter what you had done, and you have been forgotten, hurt and dismissed so many times.
He is a good friend (on the terms he is able to do) and he should stay in that way or transform on that way.
He is not the love that you are waiting for. If he had any minimal feelings for you, he had shown already, he wouldn’t distance yourself and he wouldn’t be reaching out to previous loves where he did so much harm with the excuse of give himself support and for the other person.
Move on with your live, time is precious, enjoy the happy moments together but let it be. Meet new people. focus on yourself and do not get stuck with another unavailable man. It is tough because you live in the same house. But please take care of yourself.
Love and give love, but don’t forget to pursue love and happiness for yourself. There is only one life.